Wednesday, January 14, 2009

So I want to open a coffee shop.
The other day someone was trying to think up a name for me.
This is what he got:

Express Hole

Yeah... I know what you're thinking. It's one of two things.
"Yeah, that's got a nice ring to it..."
"Why, oh why, does that sound.... just... wrong!?"
I suppose there could also be a mixture of the two but believe me; it will slowly morph into being just the one. The 'wrong' one.
Because think about it. Read it again. Okay, now picture the font it might be written in. That doesn't really matter, we're just building an image here. Now say it out loud, slowly. Next, pop it into a hip sentence.
Example: "Yo man! We're off to Express Hole. You in?"
Now I know what some - or all - of you are thinking. That doesn't sound so bad. It's not even close to something as weird an awkward as perchance "Vomitrocious Coffee House". Because let's just face it- that's pretty freaking weird.
But isn't there just something about it that sounds... odd? It's not immediately noticeable but when you say it out loud and roll it around a little there's just something that gently knock on the door in your head and says "Yeah, hi... You realize that the phrase you've been repeating for the last five minutes has severely scandalized the group of people over your left shoulder right? Oh you didn't? Well yeah... it did."

And then you're stuck trying to explain to a bunch of strangers that you weren't muttering the name of a forbidden sex move, or an evil spell under your breath but quite simply.......

"Oh just forget it."

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